Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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