There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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