That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I pour the whiskey from now on
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
