I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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