I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
