I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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