it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
