Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
