I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
