Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
