none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
