He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
