...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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