ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
