So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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