Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
