I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
