How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
im having a threesome with these popsicles
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
