I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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