It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
