Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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