i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
