If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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