We're like a lot better than the average bears
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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