I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
