kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
