I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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