why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
