I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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