his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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