Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Come see our sink grown plant.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
