just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
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