she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
