i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
don't judge my taste in strippers
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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