He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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