I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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