Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
