I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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