We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
