did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
