areolas are like halos for boobs.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
