he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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