it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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