on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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