dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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