stop calling my apartment porn island.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
