I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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