I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
pray to the hookup gods
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize