Betty ford says i'm here all night
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
