I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I need moral support for this bender
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
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