guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I love you. Go after that dick
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
