Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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