Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

he looks like a really good dad on facebook

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(585): View more from New York

Why was I handcuffed to the roof?

(518): View more from New York

It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.

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(407): View more from Florida

I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.

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(315): View more from New York

Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.

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(01): View more from

He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.

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(951): View more from California

Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL

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(305): View more from Florida

I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking

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