Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
