There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
