is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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