Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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