I wanna passion pit in your ass
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
