If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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