i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
