a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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