Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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