I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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