I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm too high and old for this...
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
