she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
