just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
a search helicopter?!
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
