seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize